Chemistry and Really Mean Posters

Hello there. Do you like chemistry? Today I had an hour and a half of it and I spent it isolating some weird glittery yellow stuff. I think it had something to do with the law of conservation of mass but all I remember is it was really sparkly. Okay, don't think I'm some slacker who doesn't listen in class. I DO. I just didn't want to go into all that sciency stuff with you. Anyways.

There's a picture. I don't think you can really see the sparkliness of it, but believe me, it was there and it was pretty cool. Normally I don't really like Chemistry (I'm a Biology geek myself) but today was pretty cool in that I didn't have to do much more than stare at this beaker. Maybe if you drink it like the instruction packet tells you not to, you'll sneeze glitter. Or turn into spider man. Which would be cooler? Hmmm.

Another thing: those safety instructions they give you with every science lab. I wonder if people ever open those up in the middle of the year and go: "OHH! Am I NOT supposed to drink the unidentified chemicals in this beaker?? Really? Good thing somebody warned me! The only thing keeping me from downing that liquid that smells suspiciously like hydrochloric acid was my lack of a suitable bendy straw..." I feel that if so, those people really kind of deserve what's coming. Survival of the fittest, you know?

That sort of reminds me of this really weird poster in my Chemistry classroom. It's a b&w picture of this blind girl wearing these epic sunglasses and holding one of those stick things in front of her to see where she's going. It says, "Carol never wore her safety goggles... now she doesn't have to." It's pretty mean actually. In between the lines, it's all, "That's what you get, Carol. Too bad you can't see me pointing and laughing at you, haha just in case you didn't catch it, I'm referring to the fact that you're BLIND. Guess you got what you deserved. ...idiot."

Wow, I just reread that paragraph and I must really hate that poster...

So now that I'm done talking about Chemistry, I think I should go study it so I don't fail the class. Happy studying to all you other imaginary friends of mine! Pozegnanie! (That's goodbye in imaginary friend language.)

I lied. It's Polish.

Possibly the Greatest Thing Ever...

So my mom is pretty amazing. She went to the grocery store and came home with this.

My new Phineas & Ferb house key!!!

I love that woman... ALMOST AS MUCH AS I LOVE PHINEAS & FERB!! Someday, I'm gonna grow up and be just like them. But I guess I can't do that unless I graduate high school and I can't really graduate high school without doing my homework... so I'll just let you guess what I'm going off to do.

If you were the new burger at McDonalds you would be the Mcgorgeous!

That's right. Pick up lines. As a real romantic maneuver, they're pretty pathetic. But when used for comedic effect... Irresistible. We all know "If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you and I together." or "Have I died? Because I'm in heaven..." I think pick up lines are hilarious, and hopefully you do too! A funny pick up line is like a work of art except I probably wouldn't pay more than 75 cents for it, but still! So here is a list of some of my favorites. Please, ENJOY.

• I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away.
• I hope there's a fireman around, cause you're smokin'!
• Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got fine written all over you.
• Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them.
• Can I borrow a quarter? I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.
• Your father must be a drug dealer, cuz you dope!
• My lips are registered weapons. Watch out, cuz you're on my wanted list!
• It’s a good thing I brought my gloves today, other wise you’d be too hot to handle!
• The word of the day is "legs". Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
• You dropped something... My jaw.
• Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.
• You must be a magician, because every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.
• Do you have a raisin? No? How about a date?
• Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk past again?
• I lost my teddy bear... Can I sleep with you?

I have to admit, if a guy actually tried to use one of these on me, I'd probably just get up and walk away, laughing my head off. On the other hand, if he said it as a joke I might just fall in love with him.

It's hypocritical, since I don't know many off the top of my head, but I like to judge a person off of the number of pick up lines they know by heart. Do you know any good pick up lines? If no: That's tragic. If yes: Wanna be my friend?

School, spicy chickenwiches and stuff

I must admit, I've been neglecting this place for a while... School is just so time consuming! Oh well. Good news is: I don't have any bad teachers and I loooooove my English class! :D I also got into a Film Photography class which is awesome because I get to use the school's darkroom and learn more techniques, but it's only supposed to be for seniors and let's just say I'm not a senior... I don't really have any friends in it and I'm pretty sure everybody hates me for getting in but whatcanyado?

What else has been happening? Ooh I read a really cool book called "Love is a Mix Tape" by this editor guy from the rolling stones. Each chapter starts with a mix tape from a different part of his life and it is really cool. It makes me want to make an old-fashioned mix tape reallllyyy baddd. I told my dad this and he laughed so hard. I guess audio tapes ain't that cool no more.

Speaking of my dad, I've decided he's gone ever so slightly insane. I'm pretty sure this must be his mid-life crisis because he wants to buy a motorcycle and attain a weight LOWER THAN MINE. If he succeeds in this second goal I might have to kill him in a slow and painful manner. I just might.

Another thing I must kill is the cafeteria food I am now forced to consume! Since I'm going processed-sugar free, I can't eat the best food at school (the not-really-asian-food-but-still-served-in-a-chinese-take-out-container-with-rice food) and am forced to eat the really gross stuff like the spicy chicken sandwiches. You can't see it but I am silently shuddering in disgust. One is good, two is okay, but if I have to eat much more... who knows what will happen.

On that rather ominous note I shall make my escape. I'd rather go get lost in the rain, and drink pina coladas, but unfortunately I have to go work on school stuff now. Grosss.

Five Crazy Awesome TV Shows

You know what it's like to have a perfect, productive day all planned out, and then have it completely dissolve into a day of TV, mango juice and sugar-free chocolate? Well I do. Why am I so weak?? Why can't I tear myself away from this magical picture box of endless entertainment? Gahhhh.

Well, since this is what my day is pretty much about, I'm going to talk about my favorite television shows. I don't know why, but for some reason most of my favorites get canceled, to be replaced by ongoing seasons of things like scrubs and jersey shore... What is wrong with the world?? Anyways, here are 5 of my favorite shows (not really in any particular order):

1. 30 Rock

This is one of the few of my favs that is actually doing well. Tina Fey is a goddess. This is one of the most hilarious shows ever, with some of the greatest characters ever created!! Liz, Jack, Frank, Kenneth...

Oh, Kenneth. Did you know that Jack McBrayer actually is from Georgia and talks and smiles like that in real life? I LOOOVE HIM. And I love this show!

2. Better Off Ted

Alas, poor ted only had two seasons, but it was an amazing show. Like 30 Rock, the characters were so funny and vivid. It was a satirical show about life working for a soulless conglomerate of a fictional company called "Veridian Dynamics". It kills me that it was canceled so early! My favorite character was Veronica, played by Portia de Rossi (Ellen's wife). If you haven't seen this show before, YOU HAVE TO. IT IS THE GREATEST!

3. Psych

Or is Psych the greatest show ever? Hmmm it's so hard to decide... This one is also doing pretty well even though it's on my favorites list. It's about a guy named Shawn who lives in Santa Barbara. He is hyper-observant but uses his talents to pretend he is a psychic, so he can work cases with the police and private jobs on the side at his psychic detective agency started with his best friend Gus. Shawn is incredibly witty and clever and makes tons of references to old movies. The banter in this show is so fast and sharp it is amazing. Again, you HAVE to watch this show. Soooo good.

4. Star Trek

I don't even think any explanation is necessary for this one. All I'm gonna say is: someday I will travel to an alternate universe and marry Spock and live happily ever after beside his wicked awesome eyebrows and super sexy logic. Yeah. I will. Some day. Just you wait and see.

5. Chuck

I've got to say I love this TV show, but it's definitely time it ended. The plot has run it's course, there's really nowhere for it to go but down. That said, it's a really entertaining show and the first four seasons are fantastic. The basic story line is computer nerd gets tops secret info stuck in his head, computer nerd meets hot girl who is really a spy, computer nerd becomes a spy himself, computer nerd gets the hot girl and after lots of super cool missions, they live happily ever after. So, soo funny.

So in conclusion, my favorite kind of television is the funny kind. But I like serious shows too sometimes. I used to absolutely love Grey's Anatomy but after they killed George and got rid of Izzy, it got really bad so I stopped watching. I also like Glee because of Darren Criss. <3

So yeahhhh. Go television! I need to go read now or something.

yech SCHOOL

Well this is it folks. I've started school and I gotta say I'm already sick of it. The first five seconds were nice, but I'm ready for summer! Already. Why are there four years of high school???? WHY? Okay, I'm not going to spend this whole time ranting about school. I feel like I should at least wait a whole day before I start bagging on it.

On the bright side, I got to see a bunch of people I haven't seen in a while and one of my best friends has transferred to my school this year so that's cool. On the mega downer side, I don't think my obligatory high school "crush" even recognized me. So that kind of sucks. But ohhhhh well.

LET'S THINK OF SOMETHING HAPPY!! hmmmmmm. Did you know they've built a 12-legged robot that can walk on water? Oh, you did? Well I didn't. (Does that count as something happy? I'm not sure...) They've also built a working wallE robot. Why do I know so much crap about robots, you ask? I really don't know. I need more friends.

Man, this post really isn't about anything in particular is it? Nope.

I've got to go to class now so... bye.

Sugar doesn't agree with me anymore.

HELLLOOOOOOO, my fellow human beings who are not reading this but doing something much more entertaining with their Friday nights!!! I AM REALLY HYPER. SO HI.

For the last two weeks I have been eating a sugar-free diet (copying a friend of mine), but I broke it today because another of my friends is visiting from far away and I wanted to consume vast amounts of sugar with her! All I had was a tai iced tea, some frozen yogurt and a little teriyaki sauce, BUT NOW I'M EXPERIENCING THE GREATEST SUGAR-HIGH OF MY LIFE WHICH MEANS I NEED TO USE ALL CAPS. DUH. IS MY FACE SUPPOSED TO BE VIBRATING? OH WELL.

We went to a movie tonight and about half-way through I started feeling all twitchy and by the time I got out I was feeling EXTREMELY LIGHT HEADED. Forgive me if I spontaneously break into capital LETTERS. I apologize.

Anyways, to get rid of all my energy, I dragged my friend to the bookstore even though we only had 20 minutes before closing time and I'm afraid my friend had to apologize to most of the customers for my freaky behavior. I'm pretty sure they thought I was incredibly drunk or high or a hilarious combination. Seeing as I ended my night by hiding a unicorn birthday card inside a star trek fan book, telling a mustache man I liked his bowler cap, and eventually wearing a cardboard box on my back to feel like a turtle, the misconception is quite understandable. Actually, that's not quite right, I STILL HAVEN'T FINISHED MY NIGHT!! I JUST BIT MY FRIEND AND SHE TASTES LIKE DENIM AND SMELLS LIKE PICKLES. What was I talking about? I don't remember. I bought a white leather jacket today, three days before labor day. Because I'm stupid.

Ho hum. I need to go now. And I think I need to stop eating sugar as well as my friends. Goodbye.

Nets of Insomnia

As I've probably mentioned before, one of my favorite things to do is write. I do some poetry and light prose every now and then, sometimes for fun, sometimes for school. There's actually this really cool website called figment, where you can publish your writing and poetry and such. Other people can read your stuff and you can read theirs. It's all very cool and if you're into that sort of thing, it is a really great website to join. Anyways, I wanted to post something today but I didn't really have anything interesting to talk about so I thought I'd share some of my writing with you! This is a short piece I wrote after reading this truly beautiful Latin American poem called "Indications" by Elva Macias. The piece I wrote is from the personified point of view of fate. It's sort of strange, but I hope you like it anyways! It is called "Nets of Insomnia".

Nets of Insomnia

I see them all from the heights of my fortress, among the mountains of their broken dreams. The children, as they run eagerly towards their futures, and the men and women who cower away from their present, in an attempt to resurrect the past.

I know their every thought, their every feeling and I can tell you the details of their every second, of their every day. There are no secrets that can be kept from me. I see the courses of their lives, like lines of ants forever moving towards that distant goal, but always out of reach. An endless journey with the promise of nothing but disappointment.

It is I who smooths the snares and cuts away the thorns as best I can, but my best is not that great. It’s hard changing what is supposed to be inevitable.

In the depths of my fortress there is a loom, made of dashed hopes and shattered thoughts. It is here that I weave the nets of insomnia, to relieve the unwary, would-be victims of their constant endless nightmares. It is a state of mind to rival sleep.

As I gaze into the past, the present, the future, all at once, I see the souls whose lives are coming to a close. They may be destined to die today, or 50 years from now, but either way the moment that I see, will be the deciding factor.

I see a man of 35, about to take a job in San Francisco. I tug on the strings of his future, and I see if he does, he will be hit by a car within two weeks of his arrival. I see the car will swerve and as a result, the seven year old child in the back seat will die as well. Her mother will fall into liquor, not to satisfy her thirst but to quench her deep despair. And that’s three lives destroyed within one single act.

So again, I throw my nets and I catch his heart. When he cannot sleep, I whisper in his ear. The tossing and the turning are a small price to pay for the ongoing gift of life.

There are some, however, who I cannot help, despite how hard I try. The soldier, I can see him. He walks unknowingly towards his doom. I know that his fate lies in the land mine up ahead. It is like a stain upon his story and no matter what I do, I cannot scrub it off. I suppose it’s just his “time”. So I turn my gaze away and I do not witness the explosion.

But I see the flag they give his parents. And I see the salt that spills from their eyes. I know these to be tears, but I myself, I cannot cry. I lost the luxury long ago.

This is my purpose: to save them from their designated destinies.

And they say they don’t believe in fate.

So yeeeeahh... That's my short story/prose thingy. See ya later!